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Since 1993 the journal Literary Review has rewarded the most  "redundant or poorly written passages of a sexual nature in [published] fiction" with the Bad Sex in Fiction Award.

This month's edition of the journal details some of this year's shortlisted entries. Oh. My. God. It's kind of reassurring to know that famous and professional writers can still SUCK when it comes to sex scenes. Given that many of you on my f'list have written sex scenes in your fan-fiction, I thought there might be some interest. ;-)

An example: John Updike (!!!) in The Widows of Eastwick (the title ALONE is groan-worthy)

"She said nothing then, her lovely mouth otherwise engaged, until he came, all over her face. She had gagged and moved him outside her lips, rubbing his spurting glans across her cheeks and chin. He had wanted to cry out, sitting up as if jolted by electricity as the spurts, the deep throbs rooted in his asshole, continued, bu he didn't know what name to call her. 'Mrs Rougement' was the name he had always known her by. God, she was antique, but here they were. Her face gleamed with his jism in the spotty light of the motel room, there on the far end of East Beach, within sound of the sea. The rhythmic relentless shushing returned to their ears. She laid her head on his pillow and seemed to want to be kissed. Well, why not? It was his jism. Having got rid of it, there was an aftermath of sorrow in which he needed to be alone; but there was no getting rid of her.

" 'Call me Sukie,' she said, having read his mind. 'I sucked your cock.'

"'You sure did. Thanks. Wow.'
"


I mean, okay NOT a love scene. But "Sukie Rougement"? "Jism"? (UGH) "Their ears" breaks viewpoint, as he has no way of knowing what Sukie can hear - or whether Sukie went deaf while blowing him. And COMMA ABUSE, dammit!!

There were other shortlisted passages quoted in the article. Let me know if you'd be interested in reading more. (The journal is a British publication. I'm unsure of its availabilityin the US.)

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
hamatokameko
Dec. 13th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
I... w-what...

Wow. And this is why any romance story I find interest in, has to have a damn good story to go with it, even if it's short (I tend to pre-read a few pages/chapters before I buy new books).

I mean, come on, I could write a better sex scene than that!!



..."The Widows of Eastwick"? Seriously?
sidlj
Dec. 14th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC)
I was able to find a few years worth of awards by Googling. Such bad shit! LOL
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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