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My Stuff To Do list currently looks like this:

  • Get a complete draft of Pros BB to sc_fossil by my birthday. Somehow. (EEEP! Less than two weeks!! How are we already in August??!!) Okay, missed *that* target. Rats and drat and damnation and gnashing of teeth.

  1. finish typing-up handwritten scenes so far;

  2. STOP RE-WRITING/EDITING SCENES AS I TYPE UP. Finish the typing/writing. THEN edit. Damn;

  3. do something with the Notes To Self that say things like "Scene here?" and "Then Something Happens";

  4. come up with an ending I actually like (I know the Big Picture ending - it's the actual last scene/line that I'm struggling with);

  5. ditto opening scene/first line. *sigh*;


  7. Remember John/Mish/Charlie are visiting from 12.8.14 for 9 days so I will get nothing done. They are still here and it is both wonderful and a little bit heartbreaking.

  • Find a beta.(HOW?????)

  • Send fic to beta. (Deadline??)

  • Send BB to 221b_hound as First Reader.

  • Blood Test: Wednesday 6th.

  • Addendum: 12/8/14 Worship Group Meeting to organise service. 10am. Didn't make it. Sinus attack from hell.

  • Rearrange STH appointment. (They would make it the day 221b_hound is visiting, wouldn't they. *Sigh*)

  • GYWO July wordcount!!!!! By 5th August!!!!! ENTERED!


  • Find photos of Norfolk in the crate of loose photos and the developed envelopes/packs from Boots/Supersnaps/Tesco/Morrisons etc. (I still don't have a digital camera.) FOUND!! And as of 13.8.14 I have a digital camera!

  • Scan said photos and send a couple to sc_fossil .

  • Scan some other photos and post to http://dcs745.deviantart.com/ ??

  • Put at least some of these damn photos in albums, so I don't have this faff next time I'm looking for a photo!

  • Finish and Post "Pondering the Professionals" Word doc that has been open since 9th July. NOT UNTIL DRAFT FIC IS COMPLETE

  • Drawing the Professionals??

  • Icons??

Does anyone else reach a point - in everything they write - where they hate the idea and hate the plot/story and hate every single word they have written so far??


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 2nd, 2014 01:01 pm (UTC)
hate the idea and hate the plot/story and hate every single word they have written so far

Yes, yes, they do. *g* I was just having this conversation with a friend on DW. Every writer we know goes through this phase with just about every story. Particularly lengthy stories! The thing to remember is that while you've been living with the idea, and struggling to get it from it's "brilliant" state in your head onto paper/computer, with the inevitable tarnishing of said brilliance, to everyone else the idea is brilliant and shiny!new! *g* Mind you, knowing that doesn't actually help. You're going to hate your idea and the words and everything else. But it does get better! I promise!

Eek for your list of things to do, especially given the visitors arriving and the fact that, somehow, it is indeed August! I'm in much the same position--trying to get the rough draft completed by the end of this weekend. My work goes crazy mid-August through November, so I really don't have time for anything other than editing/tweaking.

Ooh, Norfolk! I have a good friend who lives in Norfolk, so when I go to England, that's where I inevitably go.

Good luck with everything! You can do it!
Aug. 3rd, 2014 12:32 am (UTC)
Do shiny!new ideas exist in this fandom? I mean, it's older than I am! I am torn at the moment between "oh noes, I am not established and LOOK at the writers in this fandom" and "well at least no one has any expectations of the new girl and if everyone hates it I can just stop writing Pros-fic". :D But yes, the big thing with any creative endeavour is that the audience don't know the perfect version that was in your head that you *failed* to get on to file/paper/canvas etc. They'll judge waht's there, not what it isn't. (I hope!)

I think because I am limited in how long I can sit at a computer (and my physios went nuts when I suggested a laptop) the hatred is kind of worse because having handwritten most of this while bed-bound, transferring it to Word makes me reanalyse every word, sentence and scene. Now if I can just stop other people coming up with Things To Do Today that aren't already on the list...

You are a braver woman than I am, Gunga Din, signing up for a Big Bang when your work goes mad in the last 6 weeks! Good luck!

Having been to the coast round north Norfolk and the Peddlar's Way every year of my life, it seemed a good place to send the lads for some R&R. Even when my family lived in London (we're in Suffolk now) we'd drive up to Norfolk for the *day* if the weather was fine and Dad didn't have much on at work. Whereabouts in Norfolk do you go?

Thanks *so* much for the comment and support and best of luck and best wishes to yourself. **HUGE hugs**

Aug. 3rd, 2014 11:16 pm (UTC)
I once read a blog post of Neil Gaiman's talking about how he was going through the phase of hating *every* *single* *word* he wrote of a new book, and it made me feel SO MUCH BETTER. I mean, if Neil Fucking Gaiman gets that feeling so often he refers to it as a regular phase, then it's obvious that I'm not alone, and that all writers probably get it. ANd that means that the voice in your head telling you it's rubbish is not necessarily telling you the truth, and the little bastard is certainly not your friend.

So. Ahem. Short answer, yes, I think all writers get that moment (and sometimes it's quite an extended 'moment') telling you it's all rubbish and a waste of time, and the thing is to tell that voice to SHUT THE HELL UP.

THere's a musical called [Title of Show] with a whole song and dance sequence about the self-doubt that creeps in, which is all about that voice of doubt and disparagement that whispers in your ear to "give up, you're no good, blah blah blah". So , see, the feeling is so common it's a song called 'Die, Vampire, Die'. I recommend it.


By the way, one of my favourite bits of the lyric, which is a spoken section, is:

"Why is it that if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform
and said these things, I’d think he was a mentally ill asshole,
but if the vampire inside my head says it,
It’s the voice of reason."

My response to that Fuck. That. Shit. and also possibly 'Feel the fear and do it anyway."

Edited at 2014-08-03 11:18 pm (UTC)
Aug. 4th, 2014 02:43 am (UTC)

Yeah... but given that I've taken seriously - sort of - random people who've told me that I must be evil/wicked to "deserve" a spinal injury...

And also, I am not Neil Gaiman. Or you. *HUGS* And I have "evidence" that people don't like my fic and/or think that I can't write/plot. Not to mention the whole "wasting my time"/"scribbling again!" issue with Mum and Dad... I know *you* value my writing, love, but it often seems as if you are the only one; which makes justifying saying, "No, I cannot do X, I need to write," that much harder.

If it wasn't for the fact that I have an artist for the BB now, I would quit. I don't believe in this fic and I don't believe in me.
Aug. 4th, 2014 02:55 am (UTC)
I do hear what you're saying, but I think the principle holds true regardless of relative experience. Plus I have evidence that people hate my writing too - there are some reviews on Goodreads of The Opposite of Life and Sky High,Bone Deep that make the reviewers' opinions of my skills or lack thereof very clear indeed.

None of which is meant to diminish the real worries you have about cordoning off time for writing. :/

And show me the people who say you *deserved* anything of the kind, and I will show them about fucking *deserving* a thing or two. Grrrrrrr.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


Dee Natsuko

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