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Answers to questions posed by

tori_angeli1. Which TMNT character would you set up with one of your friends?

 

 
I wouldn’t. I don’t have relationships with anyone where it would be appropriate for me to “set them up”.
 
However, my two actual friends in the fandom are both Don-fans and everyone else I know would run screaming in the opposite direction to a giant humanoid turtle.
 
2. Any fandoms besides TMNT?
 
I doubt that one can say that I’m even in the TMNT fandom. When did I last produce anything for the fandom, even a commentary on a fic, let alone a fan-fic or fan-art?
 
I read Harry Potter fan-fic when it concerns the Marauders but I will never write it.
I take an interest in the Stargate SG-1 fandom, particularly Jack/Daniel. It’s the only slash relationship I really buy into.
 
3. What other hobbies besides writing?
 
Reading. Drawing. Watercolour painting. Living other lives inside my head.
 
4. What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
 
Used the internet as something other than a research tool by getting started with fandoms etc.
 
5. If you had to hang upside-down from a tree for three days, when will you post Anti!Girly!Don?
 
This month, next month, sometime, never.
 
Probably never. As I said in answer to one of WA’s queries, I get ideas and scenes given to me by the Muse, yes, but I don’t get plots and structures.
 
At the moment Anti!Girly-Don is a collection of scenes with absolutely NO structure and/or the start and middle of a story without an end. And there they are likely to stay.
 
This is why – as discussed ad nauseum in this LJ before I privately locked all the entries – I am seriously considering never publishing or attempting to publish anything I write ever again. I wish I could NOT write, I wish I didn’t WANT to write. The desire without any ability to back it up is just rather pathetic to my way of thinking. There is enough and enough bad writing out there without my adding to it.
 
The Meme
1)  Leave me a comment to this post, such as your favourite quotation, and I will respond by asking you 5 questions for YOU to answer in your own LJ.  
      Then post this meme in your journal so that you can interrogate your f-list!

And/Or
2)  Reply to this post by asking ME any five (5) questions of your choosing.       I will answer completely honestly, on any subject. 
      I will answer each set of questions in a separate post to this LJ. (Some posts may be f-locked.)

      All questions gratefully received.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
tori_angeli
Jul. 7th, 2008 11:20 pm (UTC)
I think enough people have told you you can write for you to believe it, and for my saying it again to mean nothing. Makes me sad. :(
natsuko1978
Jul. 8th, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)
Tori, the trouble is that I am privy to more information than you or anyone else you tries to tell me that I'm a "good writer". You see that which I deem worthy of sharing. I see EVERY damn thing I produce and on the basis of my entire body of work, no I don't think I have any talent for writing.

I wrote about myself here for a year or so, without managing to communicate anything to anyone which let them "get" me.

The last fanfic I published (in the SG-1 fandom) garnered one review which made it clear that I had completely failed to make my point (the reviewer told me that the beginning and end scenes could be cut) and tore the story I was trying to tell to shreds because the reviewer saw a completely different story in my text... and then the review concluded that I was a "good writer". In the context that makes the comment completely meaningless.

A good writer tells a Truth so uniquely and powerfully that either a Reader says "I always thought that but could never express it" or reviews his or her entire thinking on the subject.

A good writer produces sentences that sing off the page in their use of the English language.

A good FICTION writer tells a story so well that the characters live in the Reader's imagination forever more. A good fiction writer proves a premise in every story, all events tying into one conclusion, one world view.

A good fanfic writer creates fanfiction which is so in character and so telling that it becomes part of the Reader's canon and history for the characters.

I achieve NONE of these things.

It is usual after church for a stranger to approach me and tell me I'm a good singer.

The trouble is that I know better. I've had lessons and my voice fails to harmonise and blend properly in choral pieces - the tone and timbre is all wrong. In solo it is more a matter of luck than judgment if I hit the correct note.

As my singing teacher told me in no uncertain terms, I am tone deaf.

I now know this, and people will never be able to convince me otherwise.

And for the record? I am far sadder about being tone deaf than I am about my inability to write deathless prose.
tori_angeli
Jul. 8th, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
Um, Natsuko? If everyone followed your standards for a good writer, there would be so few it would be hopeless. You're thinking about a GREAT writer. And I don't mean a great writer, I mean a Great Writer. What's more, every good writer has stuff they'll never show to anyone. I have stuff that will never see the light of day. Everyone shows just the stuff they deem worthy of being seen.
natsuko1978
Jul. 9th, 2008 03:33 pm (UTC)
No, a Great Writer does ALL of those things. A good writer does maybe one.

I don't do ANY of them.

And if my standards are high, is that a bad thing? Far too much dross is deemed publishable both online and through actual publishing houses. I don't think it would be a bad thing for standards throughout to be higher.

If it is acceptable for anyone to publish then all too soon it becomes acceptable for EVERYONE to publish. We can see the results of that ethos with a cursory glance at the TMNT page on ff.net

Besides, only think - if my standards are that high and yet I am willing to read you (and the other fanfic writers on my f-list), it lets you know how much respect I have for your skills.
natsuko1978
Jul. 8th, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
Sudden thought.

It occurs to me that the MAIN reason why I am not and never will be "A Writer", is that while I feel respect and even awe for those who are better writers than I am, I feel neither jealousy nor envy.

Every motivational book, website etc for creativity bangs on about the importance of USING your jealousy to fire you and spur you onwards... I just don't feel any.

I do feel jealousy, just not in relation to creative pursuits.

I am jealous of anyone who does not have to live their life in permanent, disabling physical pain. I do not resent them being pain free... but I wish I could be.

I am jealous of anyone who is Extroverted, Stable, Open, Agreeable and only moderately Consciencious (i.e. scores completely opposite to me on the Big Five personality factors).

I am jealous of my brother, who in spite of the same genetic pool, upbringing and even SCHOOL, manages to be everything I am not and has a much better life because of it.

But I am not ever jealous of Creativity.
tori_angeli
Jul. 8th, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
You know, I can buy this. If it's not a passion for you, there need be no excuses.
natsuko1978
Jul. 9th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
Trouble with that is I have no passions this side of Death.

My only goal is Heaven and my only desire is God... it makes life on this planet very bleak and painful. But this I must endure to reach my only Lover...
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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